wheresnadiah

oh my God.

my table’s filled with files and papers all around.

think i’m staying back today, to clear up some work.

looks like i’ll be back on Sat again to finish up some other work. sheesh.

heard from Kat today that i might be up for the position of TL, to take over Suzi’s duties. the other rumour is that i’ll be taking over as DTL of the current team, when Vij moves over to head the other team.

hmm.

i’m up for challenges. if you don’t try, you’ll never know how far you can push yourself.

so, i’m hoping for the best. :) *crosses fingers*

sabah is a week away. yay. this time next week, i will be in glorious sabah, maybe soaking my feet in some gorgeous sand with a spectacular ocean view to boot.

by the way, yesterday’s bowling RAWKED!

we kicked ass.

hahaha.

finally i get to log on to Tumblr.

after days of being locked out. dunno why. weird.

it is less than 10 minutes away from knock off time, and all i’m looking forward to is to snack on McD fries.

sheesh.

and go home to my cats.

yes, i now have three cats.

2 kitties and my one and only fave darling. :)

will soon update more.

bonus will be in tonight, and i shall now go BED-HUNTING!

exciting as hell.

i wna buy a bed.

and it’s time to get serious about getting a ring.

both for me and the man.

the final cut. :p

so, the malacca roadtrip was… AWESOME.

hahha.

cos we got to meet people that matter.

and in spite of any distance, we’re still very close, the cousins and us. :)

pictures will be up soon. loads of them. haha.

next up:

-weddings.

- birthdays.

and …

SABAH!

i feel a migraine coming on.

weird. cos i didn’t do much of any thinking today. haha.

more like loads of tv-watching.

i am now at home, with the man, who’s cursing at liverpool for a crappy fight/defense for their reputation. hahha.

spent most of today’s rainy saturday at home. watching tv, dozing off, watching “The Biggest Loser”, which i absolutely love. and then we headed to mr teh tarik for tapau dinner, and then cruised over to sheng siong for tidbits..

i actually get excited exploring sheng siong. rabak abis. lol.

whatever the plans were for today, they had to be DONE by 8.40pm, cos the man die die must go home and watch the match. shitzach abis.

and by home, i mean my home, not his.

he spends most of the time here anyways. mostly 80% of the time. he comes home after work to my house, have dinner here, prays, sleeps and then goes home to sleep somemore. come to think of it, he only goes home to sleep. then weekends, he’s right here again. hahahah.

he knows which switch turns which light/appliance/fan on. heh. maybe it has a lot to do with the fact that he repairs them. hahahhahaha.

and i have come to realise that i get my way whenever he’s engrossed watching liverpool matches. he is that devouted a fan. i swear. like next month, i’m getting a pair of GUCCI shades, cos he said yes to my request. hahah. well, we all know he wasn’t really listening to what i was saying when he did say yes, but hey, who really cares.

lol.

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i have AIBI freaks at home.

from my dad to my mom to the bf. my God. i give up. by the way, i converted my dad into a “Biggest Loser” fan. hahhahahah.

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you know how when they say “Men On” when they play soccer?

indicating that there’s an opposing player behind them.

well, when i first heard him say that during a game, where he and his buddies were playing, i went, “huh? sape sak menon?”.

hahah. cos i knew all his friends, and none of them has such an old-school name.

i know.

bodoh kan. haha.

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pictures from the soccer match the other day. 

i have come to realise that the man depends a lot on me. it’s not about big things, but daily necessities that one tends to overlook, but realises its/their importance and significance upon reflection.

he seems extremely casual about the fact that his mom is in hospital, and i found that rather disturbing. cos when my mum was admitted the other time, i felt my life turn slightly upside down, cos i had to shuffle to the hospital and back home to get the house in order, etc.

and then i realised that he no longer depends on his mother for stuff which he needs, like food, a place to sleep, emotional support, etc. his mother represented all those last time, but now, he no longer goes to her for much. instead, i have morphed into that essential other half.

i make sure he eats three meals a day, with fruits to boot.

i ensure he gets enough rest. and i don’t really care if he falls asleep on my bed while waiting for some random show to start or while waiting for prayer time.

i clean/ upkeep his clothes if they’re left at my place.

i’m the first one he calls when he has something to say or get off his chest.

and i’m the one he runs to with his mails and ‘admin’ work to take care off. i know his IC number by hard, when his passport expires, his bank account pin numbers, when his next reservist is due.

so, i posted him this question last night.

“b? can you survive if i were to go away or if I were the one in hospital?”

he paused.

and went, “b. we’ll talk about it if it happens. but now, you’re fine, so everything’s fine.”

hahahaha.

a part of me finds comfort that unconsciously, we’ve morphed into our ‘significant’ roles in this couplehood and that when we get married, it won’t be strange or awkward.

and i’m glad that i’m that one person that he cannot ‘live’ without. hahah. cos when i go away for a holiday, and he’s left to fend for himself, he gets muddle-headed and lost. hahhahaha. so poor thing.

but another tiny weeny part of me finds it slightly scary that you can depend on another person without really realising it. and then when you split, you’re back to square one. and you’re left to pick up the pieces yourself.

maybe that’s the one thing that i fear. to depend so much on that other half, and then to lose him/her and find that you’ve lost a great part of yourself as well.

whether i like to admit it or not, i do in fact rely a lot on him. for things around the house to gte fixed up, to perk my day up when it’s down, to be there for me when i need him to. just to be there. :)

so, although i don’t say it often, or thank him enough, i do in fact cherish you, b. because you have transformed into this vital part of my life, this essential part of me that allows me to forge on through life with such ferocity and spunk. :)